Took a very long break from trying to lose weight. Just got tired of the everyday, trying not to eat this, or not too much of that! It just got to the point, that I just didn't care anymore. I had to deal with the issue of loving myself on the inside, no matter what the outside looked like. I had to discover, (as I finally did) that I deserved to be my best and as healthy as I could be. I had been living as if I was invincible! That nothing could ever happen to me. Well, I took a look in the mirror and reality reminded me that I am human, just every other person in this world. And that I was vulnerable to every temptation, disease, bad habit, lacivious behaviors that everyone else was. I'm not an island, and I'm not from any other planet. My stong healthy body started to show me that it was not exempt from aches, pains, and the usual conditions brought on by carrying around excess weight, and slowly gaining more every day. My joints are screaming, my soul is just tired! My sleep is not peaceful, and I have become uncomfortable in my own skin, even when I'm doing nothing. Vacationing with the family, was excruciatingly hard on my body, and all I did was walk. Shortness of breath was a steady companion the entire time. Although I didn't complain, I was silently suffering and constantly fighting the draw to succome to the drepression beckoning me. (I refuse to restart antidepressants though). Well, after a long time away, I am going to attempt the HGH and low cal diet again. This time, I'm managing it myself. Another blogger, Dan, has totally inspired me all over again to do it again. Since I know that I'm healthy enough to do HGH according to the physician who started me on it in April, I feel confident this time that I can do it without the pressure of having to get to her office to weigh once weekly, and without having to get my HGH from her exclusively. I'm in the medical field, so I know how to watch for adverse signs and symptoms and seek medical assistance I need to. My mother has lost 30lbs on the Releana plan, and has subsequently come off of all medication, including blood pressure medication she has been on for over 16 years. She's 65 years old and looks 15 years younger!
I know I have quite a bit more to lose, but I can set my goal at about 30 to 40 pounds per HGH course. I don't really plan on taking breaks in between courses unless I begin to have side effects or develope an immunity. I'm looking forward to giving up the foods that have for so long made me a slave to them, as if they were some kind of addiction. I realize that NO food is an addiction, but a stong temptation, that I chose to give in to out of pure selfishness on the part of gratifying a carnal craving. I never crave just sweets, but always a particular or specific food. That tells me I can choose not to eat it! Therefore, it is not an addiction, but a choice to be made.
I have ordered my supply of HGH, and am currently waiting it's arrival. All the supplies needed to mix and administer the hormone have been ordered as well, and have arrived. A friend and co-worker who is interested in the HGH has asked to do this with me. She has ordered her supply as well, and is currently waiting for it to come in. She will be a physcial source of encouragement and support for me, and I will be the same for her. No one else knows what we are going to do, and that's the way we will keep it. As soon as I my order arrives, I will start to blog my weight and my progress, my ups and downs, my thoughts and feelings. I'm not sure if this will get out onto any of the links for weightloss, but if it does, that's OK by me. I just warn that this journey blog will include not only my progress, but my emotions and feelings as well. So, be ready for days when more than just the weightloss process is blogged.
I've been M.I.A. but I'm back in the battle of the buldge!